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This chick doesn't want to be married to you anymore, but doesn't want to hassle moving and financial problems yet. My ex-husband sounded a lot like her. It's a passive thing. I'd say the marriage is kapoot now. Get your ducks in a row. Make sure you do what other posters have said about credit cards, assets and money. Start socking secret assets away. Start building support outside the marriage that she doesn't control. Spouses come and go, but your kid(s) are yours forever. Put them first, always. Look into housing that is not too far away from STBX so you can do the 50-50 custody thing, look into daycare and schools for your -(ren). Get friendly with your own parents, if they can help. Document everything that could be construed as abandonment or dangerous behavior to your -(ren). don't hesitate to "take her to the cleaners" in terms of assets or custody, because she is going to do the same. don't be bad about paying support for your kid's sake, and don't ever give up on visitation/custody. Be the good guy in the white hat (act impeccably, keep to a higher standard of behavior) even if you got a smartass daughter for a while she get hip to it all before she is an adult. Also, you need to research the whole divorce thing from the military. It mihgt be better for your kid(s) to have her as a mom if you are ever deployed again (assuming she is not an abuser, etc.), and then divorce her when military life deployments are over. Plus, being militar don't you face having to move a lot? What does that do to the custody thing? divorce lawyer who is experienced with military. Watch out, there's a lot of "crooks" out there try to get good references before chunking down a retainer. Before you again, work on yourself so that you have the highest standards on your own health and behavior. Then do a thorough background search on any woman you are intersted in. Like, don't even date someone who doesn't work in a job above being a waitress or hairdresser, or one who goes to bars or smokes pot, etc. Look for much higher standards of character, not just nice looks, and insist on a pre-nup agreement. Good luck to you. You get through this and things slowly get much, much better. Erin Harpe & the Delta Swingers interview at Black Eyed Sally's Wives wants sex tonight dating married
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